Once again same old situation.....

wen 4 steamboat wif anna,ying qian,cisso,royce and zheng yang at marina after presentation todae. presentation was nt 2 bad (wore semi- formal since my whole grp was doing so) anna asked wad wad was "FOCUS" and it's realli somewat akward to tell her wad it realli means= = heard a veri interesting gossip dat ying qian also liked cindy on e wae back= = well dats sad and tough luck 4 mi den....seem to remember another almost alike situation but in different circumstances and was like so long long ago......well comfirmed e fact wif ying qian and dun feel anithing much....maybe abit dissapointed or wad la....but maybe i'm so used to it till i already accepted it even b4 i tried..........wtf am i doing?ready to give up even b4 i even try....SHIT man
i realli starting to hate myself....maybe i shld juz kill myself and rid e world of such a useless person....maybe i'll become emo and anti-social soon....i c so many possibilities but i'm scared of failure....maybe dats y i set my expectations so low in my life so dat i wont experience failure again....people expect so much frm mi....yet they dun noe hw i feel inside.........y iz it always dis way?life realli pisses mi off when i face myself.......no mood to do anithing

chong